Clarify Expectations During The COVID-19 “Stay Home, Stay Safe” Order
Like you, we are doing our best to cope with and manage our marriage, our family and our business during this COVID-19 pandemic–including clarify expectations. And, as you know, our lives have changed overnight and we’re all trying to adjust to this “new normal,” which has been evolving at a super-fast pace from day to day. It’s almost surreal, and we know that it can be overwhelming sometimes. We’ve certainly felt that.
As a result we are all under tremendous stress right now, but stress affects everyone differently. I’m guessing though, in some ways we’ve all been impacted physically, emotionally, spiritually and of course in our relationships. Unfortunately, the combination of all this stress can dramatically prime our relationships for conflict.
All this spells trouble and a looming tsunami of frustration if couples don’t intentionally take the time to sit down and clarify expectations. In the words of Antonio Banderas, “Expectation is the mother of all frustration.” Proverbs 13:12 puts it this way, “Hope deferred make the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.”
Unfortunately, the combination of all this stress can dramatically prime our relationships for conflict.
Consider the relationship-changing wisdom found in Philippians 2:1-5
“Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellow-ship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus . . .” –Philippians 2:1-5 (NASB)
To be sure, we all have legitimate needs, even God-given needs, from our spouses. As we just read, it “makes the heart sick” when our desires or longings are not met. But the truth is, we all struggle with being self-centered in the acquisition of those needs; it’s just part of the human condition. In our natural state we don’t “regard others as more important than ourselves,” and it affects every relationship; especially our marriages and families. So, in reality we all desperately need help from God to embody this other-centered attitude. Maybe we need it now more than ever in this global crisis!
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” ~Philippians 2:3-5a (NASB)
To help you we’ve created a marriage enrichment exercise and devotion. We encourage you to let the life-changing wisdom and principles found in scripture be your guide. The exercise will help you both proactively think through to clarify expectations, discuss them, and mutually work together to meet each other’s needs. Our hope is that you will take advantage of this extended period of time to strengthen your relationship! Blessings from our team at Oakland Hills Counseling!
